I’ve been reminiscing of days past when Valentine’s day really was a pain. In my heart. This was a most inconvenient time to be reminded of flowers and chocolates, for someone else.
I can happily say that Valentine’s Day is no longer an empty abyss of self-pity. It only took me about 15 years to arrive here. Stay with me as I grab a few of the thoughts climbing around in my head and let’s see where this takes us.
Pressure! I can’t imagine the pressure you men feel on this day. You have this day to prove your undying perfect love to your significant other. She must be the Princess. The Diva. She needs to be pampered, spoiled, and feel like Queen B today. And–you had better be creative, not repeat last year or Valentine’s day is suddenly a day where you are in the dog house. Bless your hearts. It’s not even your girlfriend or your wife’s fault. She has just gotten caught up in what all of the country is caught up in. A day of having one’s love expectations met and fulfilled.
What is underneath all this is that we are designed for love. Something in us knows that anything less than unconditional and extravagant love leaves us empty and aching. Angry and grasping. Hmm…what if we stopped and thought about our reactions when someone (especially on February 14) doesn’t meet with what we had hoped for? Is it that they were never intended to fill the bottomless pit we have? Can it be that we look to humans to fill a sacred place inside?
The fact is, Valentine’s day can be lonely for many reasons. It can be lonely for the single woman who is waiting to be pursued. Or the single mom. The widow. The pubescent teen. The kid termed “loner” at school. It is more than candy sweethearts and roses. This is about feeling on the inside or the outside of love. Again, stepping back from the holiday itself—inside each and every one of us is a space created for love. This space in us knows we are meant to be enjoyed. Celebrated. Extremely and even at times embarrassingly noticed. Seen. All year round.
|Brown Family (I am the little girl in yellow)|
And we are. By the one who is love. He doesn’t have love. He IS love. He fills the human heart with a love that is referred to as “living water”. This love doesn’t disappoint or dry up. It can be trusted for it has gone the distance even unto death. All other loves pale in comparison.
Shall we take our eyes off of our own dilemmas today and let L-O-V-E fill our hearts? And then allow the eyes of our hearts to see. See the broken all around us. Crying out for touch. A hug. A smile. Someone just to notice and express kindness. Is this day about what I can get from those who love me or can it become a day where we sprinkle kindness and be carriers of love?
For the single woman or man- I wish you courage to celebrate the happiness of others when they enter into marriage before you. I wish you the ability to find contentment in your life and to see it as an adventure instead of the years you lived before you found “the one”.
For the married woman- I wish you the ability to recall and remember what it is about your husband that made you fall in love. I wish your heart the capacity to receive love from God and the perspective that your husband is human.
For the lonely teen–I wish you the strength to resist the counterfeits of love. I wish that you will not have an identity crisis and be tempted to look to others to tell you who you are. You are lovely.
|Mom and Dad in their glory days|
For the mom—I wish you moments where you can be pampered and attended to. Your heart matters and what you pour into your children will be seen and fruit will be born. I wish you relationships on the journey.
For the one who needs family— He places the lonely in families. I wish you moms and dads. Brothers and sisters. Heart friends. And a warm welcome.
And for us all…I wish us a revelation of the unconditional fulfilling love of God. May it be poured out into our hearts. Over and over again.