30 (+) and single. (Why “thesingleside”?)

30 (+) and single.  My goal isn’t just to survive singlehood, but to embrace it.  I heard a speaker say, “If you do single well, you’ll do marriage brilliantly.”  Worth pondering, isn’t it? I think about that sometimes when I’m whining about the wait.  Embracing singlehood is not resigning myself to a life of solitude. Nor is it killing my heart—denying this God-given longing for marriage—and burying my dreams.  That’s merely denial masked as super-spirituality. The other extreme is to take the reins and do whatever satisfies for the moment (ahhh….the fleeting counterfeits) and follow my own way.So: kill my heart or dabble in dangerous territory? THESE are my options? Well, yes if you are looking to control things. For both of those options are two sides of the same coin.  “God, you are not cooperating with my time line or body clock (over 30 here, Lord!). So I must do something about that!”


(Long pause)…There IS another way.  But it is the path less traveled; to open my life to God who also happens to be a good Father—and the giver of every good and perfect gift.  Choosing trust instead of control.  His timing over mine.  I’m sure many of us have tried to “help” God speed things up only to find ourselves in a dilemma of our own making.  So we haven’t done things perfectly. No matter! The courage is in getting back up, and setting our heart once again…and again…and again… (perhaps with a bit more humility each time) to trust the lover of our souls.

Blogging. I confess to being slightly terrified; revealing my heart is risky. What motivates me is my desire for other singles to embrace life now and not wait until circumstances change. I write from “the single side” to offer encouragement, share thoughts, and to process my own “stuff.” I’m not strong. I don’t have things all figured out. I am not full of wisdom and answers.  God has met me in my weakness (in struggle) and comforted me.  I simply offer the same comfort I’ve received.

A close married friend recently emailed these words:  “ Allow your heart to soar and fly during this wonderful season of singlehood.   I encourage you to suck the life out of your single days.  They are numbered.”

Her words sparked excitement and strengthened my heart to take courage again, choosing to live all my single days with quality of life.

Jesus (a single man, don’t forget!) spoke these words (John 10:10):
“I came that (you) may have life, and have it to the full (in abundance).”

And I intend to.

22 thoughts on “30 (+) and single. (Why “thesingleside”?)

  1. Well done. Almost makes me want to be single again. Well, not really, but after reading this I think I could have done it better!

  2. my sis just told me about your blog. popping over to say hello. Since I am single too, I'll be following. ;o) I think you are right on and I'm looking forward to your furture posts.

  3. Not single, but loved your comments, & would enjoy having a cup of coffee, & following!!! I'm all for the relational stuff too. Must be hereditary!!! We share the same Father!!!

  4. Liz, you have a beautiful heart. Thank you for being brave enough to be vulnerable and sharing your journeys with us. Your readers are listening! 🙂
    Love, a fellow “single” Asburian with a very edible baby! haha

  5. Thank you so much! Sometimes I doubt of it can be that I enjoy my life as single and keep living with wonderfull relationships, because people are concerned for me that I am still single. But no thank you Father that we can enjoy life even when we are single! Life is beautiful also when you are single! His love makes my life complete! Thanks for sharing! You are à wonderfull person Liz!!! Blessings and love Mirjam

  6. Well done my friend ❤ I love reading your insights and your wse words.. I am especially happy to see that honey icecream photo of you there.. Happy to know; it was I who took it =)) Long for those days to be here again, you me and New Zealand summer X X X

  7. Well said! Thank you Liz, this is something so many feel but haven't found the words. Super encouraging! Love this blog title, The Single Side!

  8. I love it Liz! Beautifully written! Yes… we don't have to wait to get married to start our life God wants to give us a full abundant life right now!

  9. Love it Liz! What a journey we are on..such refinement in the unity meltdown with Him…so good Liz! And yes the days of being single ARE numbered 🙂
    Keep blogging Liz and we will continue on the path of being encouraged to embrace our lives fully with you! ❤ this!

  10. Ahhh…you ladies have so encouraged me! Anonymous from Asbury =) Sue, Mahu,Liz, Stacey, Mirjam! You are truly my heroes and I learn from YOUR lives! Let's keep encouraging each other to fully live, ok??? xoxo

  11. I love this Lizzy!!!! My precious friend, you express your heart so well!!! Thank you for sitting down and sharing your amazing heart and cup of coffee with us! Love you friend!! 🙂

  12. I know, Maggie. Feels amazing to actually write some of this stuff that's been brewing (coffee terms are appropriate here!) in me for um…. YEARS! Yeah, this isn't e-harmony (hee hee), but anyone is welcome-male or female! Thanks for the encouragement!

  13. Love that you have a nice bubbly cup of dark rich coffee on your blog. : ) I love it. And I was wondering what type of snack to get as I read the top. I wanted ice cream, but I was too cold and then too lazy to get back up. Next time I'll come prepared. ; ) I'm so excited about this blog and can't wait to share it with single friends. Anyway…thanks for taking a huge leap and letting us into your thoughts and heart!! Tara

  14. How funny, I came across this blog of yours yesterday or the day before through Maiju's fb, and I had just been thinking earlier in the day about how “someone should do a blog with this theme, being single in the thirties” !!! Incredible!

    Here's a fellow sister, who's also blogged for 6 years already =) (but not so much in the theme of singleness though).


  15. Thank you, Mimosa! I love your thoughts. Can't wait to check out your friend's blog too!

    Thanks SB for checking it out! Love you! (Ps. and I value your opinion, double thank you!)

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